Dear Jeans Designers,

Okay, I don’t want to freak you out or anything… but I have a butt. I also have thighs but it’s cool, I don’t want to overwhelm you. Let’s just stick to the matter at hand. I have a butt and you don’t seem to realise that when you’re designing your jeans.

Look, I understand we’re still on the skinny jean bandwagon. That’s cool. But the thing is, jeans are now being created in a way that doesn’t fit all of a woman’s body parts. Because I did a little research and it turns out – all women have butts! I know, it’s shocking. I bet you’re rocked to your very core. You’ve been skipping that part in your design process, how embarrassing!  You can’t be skimping on those extra few centimetres of denim just to cut costs because lord knows, you charge enough for a pair. And just because you design them with no butt? Doesn’t mean women will magically stop having butts. Butts aren’t like boobs. You can’t tape them down as fashion dictates.

See what happens is, I find a pair of jeans in my size, take them into the fitting room, slip them on and then… hang on… there seems to be… where’s the? Okay, so maybe I need a size up. So I go with a size up, now they’re swimming in the legs but still, now they should… no, wait there’s still… where’s the butt? It is actually missing. Where there should be a curve to allow for flesh and bones it just goes straight up. Like a letter I instead of a letter D. Do you see what I mean?

And before you go thinking I haven’t been thorough in my search for a pair of jeans that accommodate the booty lemme tell you, I’ve tried everything from chain stores to jeans specialty stores to high end department stores. I’ve tried the Junior’s section and the “Women’s” section. I’ve tried skinny, straight, slim, slouch, boyfriend, high waist and low rise. And before you open your mouth to suggest boot cut I want you to stop and think about a time past 2002 when that has been a good idea.

Come on guys! You’re jeans designers. You have the power to make a woman look incredible. Growing up I remember staring longingly at my Mum’s jeans thinking, “when I grow up I’ll have a pair just like that.” She wore them until they frayed, patched them, and eventually when even the patches got too threadbare she cut them into shorts.

Jeans! Clothing of rock stars, sex symbols, models and working class heroes the world over. One piece of clothing that’s always been accessible regardless of your status, your size, or your bank account. What’s happened? Every article I read with a designer seems to say one of two things: They either want to “dress women so they feel beautiful” or “take risks”. Right now it seems no jeans designer is willing to take the risk of going against the current trend and actually designing a pair of jeans that fit a woman and make her feel beautiful, sexy, powerful, playful, strong and bad ass – like jeans should.