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Who Are You Dressing For?

January 17th, 2012 by Selise

So here it is. The controversial outfit I wore to the baseball last time we went (and by last time, I mean the time before the last. So I guess, last, last time. The first time we went this season. Which was in the very last days of last year. You know what? It’s probably easier to leave it as it is…)

Now you’re probably thinking, “What’s so controversial about that?” And if you’ve been following me since the start you’ll definitely be thinking, “Come on now Selise, I’ve seen you in FAR crazier outfits.” 

So what gives?

Well I’ll tell you just what, “gives”.

I took some time putting this outfit together (the pictures don’t really do it justice and I only got the 2. For an idea of how bright the shirt is check it out in this post. I don’t have any other pictures of the skirt but trust me, it’s on the same level). 

  • A brown “Brisbane Bandits” bandana tied around my head, kerchief style.
  • Bright purple customised zombie shirt
  • Equally bright orange high waisted skirt
  • Paired with a studded belt and leather, buckle up chuck taylor style shoes
  • Finished off with the perfect cat’s eye 

I was so happy with my outfit, I skipped down the stairs and presented my self to The Man, as I often do.

Usually he’ll say something like, “cute!” or, “rad!” but this time he was just silent. For a really long time (or I guess, what felt like a really long time). And then eventually he said he didn’t like it. 

Now the thing is. I don’t dress for his approval. Or ask his permission to wear anything. But (and I’m sure you can relate) it always feels good to know my husband likes my outfit. He’s proud of his wife and happy to walk down the street next to whatever ensemble she happens to be rocking.

So the “I don’t like it” thing kinda put me in a tailspin of sorts. See, he wasn’t being harsh or rude. He didn’t say it to make me feel bad about myself. He just gave me his honest opinion, which I always ask for.

The thing is though. I liked the outfit! I felt really good in it. I liked the overall vibe and it was comfortable too.

Now I was faced with a conundrum…what do I do?

Do I change into something else? Something he likes but I don’t feel so good in? Do I wear this outfit knowing he doesn’t like it?

I made my way back upstairs and stood in front of our full length mirror for a good 5 minutes. I turned this way and that. I sat down on the bed and really thought, “Does it actually bother me what he thinks?” 

And then I came to the conclusion… 

…no, it doesn’t. 

Cuz the thing is, I’ve been dressing for myself for years. Before I met him, I dressed however I pleased. In fact, the night we met I was wearing a black band t-shirt, tight 3/4, cinched leg cargo pants with a pair of black satin boxer shorts with a white trim over the top (they were a super cute shape – I often used to rock them with fishnets) and my tan, worn cowboy boots.

I’ve never cared what anyone thought about my outfits and that moment upstairs in the bedroom I had to decide if that had changed. 

And the answer is a resounding, “Nope!”  

I traipsed back downstairs, told him I liked the outfit and was going to wear it, got in a cab and had a fantastic time at the baseball.

And you know what? Just before we left the house he leaned over and said, “Actually, it’s kinda growing on me“. I, of course, smiled knowingly.

Bandana: Brisbane Bandits
Tshirt: Gift – customised
Belt: Myer
Skirt: Temt
Shoes: Wittner 

22 Responses

  1. Flow Disruption says:

    I love it, too! I've totally had moments like this as well, though. Whenever I wear caftans, my brothers like to say, "hey, you're still wearin' tablecloths, eh?" and then chuckle, but it is what it is. πŸ˜‰ Style has so many variables … others either get it or they don't and that's fine. πŸ™‚

    P.S. – Your shirt is awesome!!

  2. two birds says:

    I love this outfit! It is funky and colorful and cool. I know what you mean about the husband though. Sometimes my hubby will tell me something I am wearing is weird or that he doesn't love it. He is not ever being mean, just honest, but it does often make me want to change. But then I realize I just want to wear what I love and dress for myself, and that's that!

  3. sherryl says:

    that actually is the cutest story ever, haha. but yeah, often people (typically guys) will be like, eh, i don't like what you're wearing. but i'm like, well, it doesn't really matter – because i like it, and that's what matters! πŸ™‚ i love your sense of style, and your shirt IS completely rad.

  4. Lynika says:

    Best blog post everrrr. Man, that is empowering and a good reminder of what is really important and to be brave enough to value our own feelings and opinions. You are a great inspiration. You say things everyone should get to hear when they're growing up from female mentors. But it's never too late to hear them and start implementing them. You really do light the world up πŸ™‚ Thank you xxxxxx

  5. Dale says:

    Yea, I definitely know what you mean, I just found your blog so at first i was thinking "what is so controversial about this?" hehe. But when I finished reading it makes sense. I really like your style though overall. Nice post, I like the way you write! Following you now


  6. Laura says:

    I love the outfit!

  7. Megan says:

    Aw, that last sentence made me smile πŸ™‚

    I know exactly what you mean. My fiance has told me he doesn't like an outfit of mine, or an item I pick up while shopping, but if I'm really drawn to it or it makes me feel good I don't really care. He wears things I don't like sometimes also. Glad you kept it on πŸ™‚

  8. ettible says:

    Well, I can tell you, having looked through exactly one page of your blog posts, that I love your style. And your ice cream hair. And that your legs are hott. I'm glad your "this is me" thoughts overpowered your "I want to please people" thoughts in the end!

  9. caitlin says:

    amen! wear what you like πŸ™‚ i actually really like this outfit, too! i'm always surprised when my boyfriend makes a point to say he likes something i'm wearing, even when i don't ask… it's usually the opposite of what i'd expect him to like. men are weird.

  10. Elle Sees says:

    I have a post like this coming soon! I only would change if it looked unflattering on me, but not bc someone didn't like it. I like it!

  11. S says:

    Wear what you want, sweetie!!!!
    I like this outfit, is edgy and cool!

  12. Seeking Style says:

    I love that you dress for yourself; we all should! Sometimes I like when my boyfriend doesn't like what I'm wearing haha

    xo Jennifer


  13. Ebony says:

    I love the inner dialogue you shared in this post πŸ˜€
    And woo! For not caring πŸ™‚

    I asked a mate at work the other day how I'm going to get a new bf and I was completely joking but he said quite seriously that I might want to start dressing like the general public. HAHAHA

  14. his_girl_friday says:

    I really love that crazy shirt.

  15. skippysays says:

    Good for you! My hubby doesn't like my outfits sometimes either, but if I like it that's what matters most πŸ™‚ And I love this on you- that skirt is adorable!

  16. Sandra Leiva says:

    I love your skirt, dear!
    Thank you so much for your nice comment, would you like to follow each other? <3

  17. Fabrizia says:

    Such a great post, I like it!!! The photos are simply fab!

    Take a look and if you want we can follow each others: Cosa mi metto???
    Win an amazing dress of your choice up to Β£200, enter the Zeleb giveaway

  18. Jazzy E (Hivenn) says:

    You're so awesome. x hivennn

  19. Kyla says:

    I wouldn't stopped reading your blog if you had changed πŸ™‚ Okay, maybe not, but now I love you even more. It completely unphases me anymore when my husband doesn't like something. And he's pretty much learned that I don't really care what he thinks of an outfit. It's worked out well for all involved. Besides, I don't think he could ever argue with anything that makes me feel good, which I'm sure is what won your man over in the end!

  20. Kyla says:

    *I meant "would've" – sheesh, I really know how to butcher a punch line!

  21. […] this year I posed the question, β€œWho are you dressing for?” and I guess this whole situation has made me question […]

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